Do you ever catch yourself thinking this thought: I don’t know what I want. Do you feel like you’re stuck in that? That you are holding yourself back in your talents, in who you are? Are you demanding too much of yourself and not living the life you want? The “not knowing what you want” is paralyzing, don’t you think? With this blog, take the first step in getting rid of it.

On the ‘I don’t know what I want’ syndrome

Somehow you (I suspect) know what you want, but don’t dare go for it. You probably have to get out of your comfort zone, and of course you’d rather not do that. Not even if the situation you are in feels uncomfortable.

You are stuck in a pattern that you have thought up for yourself. As soon as you deviate from that pattern, all kinds of thoughts shoot through your head like “hey what is this” or “so we’re not going to do that.” With that, you go back into your loft of your comfortable comfort zone.

Your “I don’t know what I want” syndrome might just fit that bill. After all, if you don’t what you want you don’t have to change.

So the problem is not that you “don’t know what you want” but that you are looking forward to all the changes it will entail. In your life, your work and perhaps your relationship.

If you keep everything as it is, you won’t have to face that fear of change. But then again, is that what you want? Read on if you still want to get rid of that syndrome.

Go dream

The first step is to stand up, be assertive for yourself and start dreaming, this way you will get closer and closer to knowing what you want. At this step you don’t have to worry or fret about the practicalities, whether it is possible and what others will say.

You may dream what you want, unlimitedly, without thinking of money, time, obligations. Let yourself go all the way. Make images of it in your mind, start drawing or make a SoulCollage® card about it.

Take your time. By paying attention to what you would like, you direct your energy in that direction without physically doing anything about it.

The more you dream, the more the universe will cooperate, which can’t do anything with anything you don’t want, because also what you have resistance to and attention to that, you create more.

Make it concrete and magical

Now that you have been dreaming like this, it probably becomes more and more clear what you want and also now you don’t have to worry about whether it is feasible.

Make as short a sentence as possible in which you formulate your dream. You formulate this in the present, as if it were already there.

For example; I live in a magical place where I help people live more in the now, or I travel around the world and make my money during this journey effortlessly. It may be anything.

The more concrete you make what you want, the more easily you will attract it to you. Write it down and say it out loud. The most beautiful and powerful thing is when you do this with someone.

Impeding beliefs

Be aware of the bears on the road that come up when you say the phrase, what you want, out loud. Usually these limiting beliefs come up quickly.

examples limiting beliefs

• who do you think you are
• this is not going to work anyway,
• I wouldn’t know how to do this
• etcetera.

It is important to be aware of these bears, don’t put them away. The more you put them away, the harder they will try to sabotage you. But, mind you, don’t get caught up in it.

See that it is a thought and know that they are not true. Welcome them and then let them slide on like a cloud.

I enjoy it when I can shape my life from flow. The balance between work and relaxation, between contact with others and being alone. I have started to “need” less and less from myself, and that already offers so much space!