A participant in my workshop later told her story of how she gained more peace and space in her mind with SoulCollage®. I was so taken with it that I asked her if she would write about it. I would like to share this story with you, the reader.

This is the story of Anke

At the end of March, I had treated myself to a Soulcollage® workshop with Lucy Schaaphok. What Soulcollage® meant exactly was not clear to me, but I was eager to get my creativity moving again, considering I had not painted for a year.

I got stuck in that and by making collages of images from magazines, that seemed like a slightly easier method to rekindle inspiration. In addition, I was in the middle of a new job as a substitute teacher and that caused a lot of stress. By participating in this workshop, I also hoped to get a little more work-life balance in that.

After a brief round of introductions between the participants and Lucy Schaaphok, ‘ stepping into a map ‘ was explained. Each of us chose a picture and spoke from this representation with : ” I am the one who… ” I found a beautiful picture of a painted dark girl with crop in her hair. The, ” I am the one who…” took some getting used to, but I understood I thought… the meaning.

Then we were allowed to find images and paste them on cards. I proceeded energetically and decided that among other things, the first image of the painted girl , would also be incorporated into a card. Since I’m used to working large, it took some getting used to cutting and pasting the images to fit the card. Because of this, I had to be selective.

Unfortunately, the girl’s crop did not fit on the card and thus was lost in the process. I found it hard work and not at all as relaxing as I had thought. I felt limited by cutting and pasting images at such a small size , but tried to persevere anyway. I became very tired.

After I made four cards, it was time and the idea was for us to read our cards ourselves, with another participant being the note taker then. I looked at my cards and the first thing I noticed was that they were not nice cards. All four cards symbolized for me border crossing, injustice and abuse in the world, and above all it stood for abuse of borders against and from myself.

I was startled and I became anxious when I realized that this is exactly the side I was afraid of. And to show this to others? Never, ever! Surely I had processed this myself it seemed to me….

I refused to share and became emotional. I did not feel safe enough to show these shadow sides to strangers. I left the workshop. In the evening, Lucy Schaaphok called me and I was able to explain to her what the process had done to me.

She suggested making a helper card to counterbalance the shadow cards. The next day I immediately did just that…. I grabbed the first old Happinezz magazine I still had at home from the pile.

There I saw a boy and a girl in motion on a bridge, just turned 1 more page and to my surprise there stood the same darkly painted girl in full armor looking at me smiling! What a gift! This was the final approach at the beginning of the process, the harvest, the inspiration! Nothing to be afraid of!

I suddenly saw the shadow maps in a different light. Especially the first card of the girl (I am the one) I looked at m again carefully. She was not at all pathetic and trapped and not standing inside, nor were the other symbols on this map just as likely to be outside. The girl “I am the one” was still in her power, just in a different setting.

I decided to order the book Soulcollage because I wanted to learn more about this method. After some email contact back and forth with Lucy Schaaphok and reading in the book by Seena B. Frost, I decided to make more cards and ordered 50 right away. All these blank cardboard cards I had already designed within 1 month.

Some cards were clear, others remained and still remain somewhat mysterious. Through the I am the one who. I do find out more and more about the (un)conscious contents. I felt the need to share my cards….

I realized I was struggling with the topic of security. I decided to tell my experience of the workshop attended to some close friends first. The cards allowed me to better articulate how I felt about this, what it was doing to me, what I needed. They responded positively to this and were surprised by my vulnerability that I had never actually shown to them so openly before.

This made me feel safe enough to start sharing more. I dared to go to a SoulCollage® circle night and share my cards with strangers. On that night I found out that I am not alone in certain life themes , that I am not alone in being vulnerable and opening up.

That, after all, we are all part of a process, a circle. It is not black and white. It is not 2! Happy I went home that evening . For me, this is a revelation, a success story, knowing that I am still in the midst of my own process.

By now I have opened a lot of drawers and broken through some walls in myself. I am moving again and all because I had taken a moment to dwell on my own fears and dared to share this!

Making the SoulCollage® cards has become more playful and there is more space in my head again to make my next step in my own process. Not too fast, but step by step. By the way, I also took up the painter’s brush again and these are the first drawing strokes for me on the large canvas. I am moving again and that is a fact 😉

– Anke

The experience is different for everyone, and often it is not as intense as in Anke’s story. At least she got more peace and space in hear head.