10 - 24 February 2027
In high school we had a German language teacher, he did get compared to Hitler, which of course was an extreme comparison. Everyone was afraid of him, because he could make such a fool of you, or suddenly ask you a question you often didn’t just have the answer to.
He belittled us and gave us the idea that we were useless teenagers and weren’t going to do anything anyway. He regularly made condescending remarks.
I didn’t let it bother me. As a child and teenager, I was quite stubborn and raised an imaginary bird flip at him. I was going to decide for myself what I could and couldn’t do, I certainly wasn’t going to let a teacher like that tell me.
I was going to give him a shit, though, and I succeeded well. I got good grades in my German exam and was happy to be rid of that jerk.
But others in my class cared more about him and what he said, they reacted differently to his negativity toward us. Why is that so?
We learn in our lives, often from early childhood, how best to survive. Often by conforming to our educators, we make choices that ensure we get what we need, which is love.
This early childhood is very influential in how we react to situations later in life. We sometimes still react that way, as we did at that time, in order to survive.
This, of course, is long gone since we no longer depend on our parents.
The inner child, which has remained a part of us even now in our adulthood, can have a great impact on your life. Especially when it has suffered trauma and received insufficient love.
It can take up so much space in your inner system that other parts, such as the one who puts herself down powerfully, or the one who knows what she wants, get snowed under.
With me, the rebel was strong. I always said “do it yourself” and wanted above all to stand up to people who behaved nastily. Whether I wanted to or not. I had no control over it.
I learned to take more control of this reactivity and look beyond my own feelings. To look at where the other person is coming from and why they may be behaving the way they are.
This often allows you to steer how a situation turns out. By seeing what response is best at that moment, to come to a good result and create what you want. Going beyond the emotion and seeing what is actually needed.
By attending courses, workshops and trainings for years and doing a lot of self-examination with this, I developed more and more inner leadership.
I got direction from all those little voices that wanted all kinds of things and were often contradictory to each other. I created inner harmony. And boy, what a peace that gives. I no longer have to be different from myself and can choose how I react to certain situations.
What about your inner director? I would love to hear from you.
